Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
