dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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