forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
it's great music for shaving your balls
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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