Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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