'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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