once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
