It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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