My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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