she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
