you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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