Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize