he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
