I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
