u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
