Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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