I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
