I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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