And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize