He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
