so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
