Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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