Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
