I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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