I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
