How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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