Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
