I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
