DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
