im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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