one two three fourrrrnication!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize