I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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