My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
