I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I need to stop coming to work sober
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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