Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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