I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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