it wasn't lemon gatorade
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
