well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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