her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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