I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
