hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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