dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
