My hand turned me down
I could have mohawked her pubes.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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