My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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