she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
