Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
