Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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