mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
