I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
