ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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