Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Im part way to drunk.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
