I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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