Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize