what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
