I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
