Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
