I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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