my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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