Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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