First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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