Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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