In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
