stop calling my apartment porn island.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
