Well apparently he's into motor boating.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
