You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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