i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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