ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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